Church...and the lack thereof.

[weswilson]

I was raised in the Episcopal church, and it was only logical that I fell into lockstep with religion as a child. It was the thing to do! I attended Young Life, went to church camp, and spent my youth hating myself for masturbating. Things for me went a little south once I started seeing the damage that organized religion could inflict on rational thought. After I saw my mother blindly sign a petition to keep The Last Temptation of Christ out of Huntsville theaters, I pretty much backed away. It wasn't rational for people with GOD behind them to fear a movie... therefore, those people didn't have God... or they weren't rational... and neither seemed appealing.

For my mother, I used working at night as a cheap excuse to skip church. Philosophically, I was a christian, while theologically I was an apostate. In the eyes of a woman whose life was honestly touched by her God, my life looked positively motivated but inherantly cursed by my failure to live life with Jesus in my heart. Jesus, in my eyes, is mostly a construct of scared and lost people whose desire for acceptance and love keeps them clinging to a two-thousand year old life raft that's almost out of air. If you were to put six different religious doctrines before me from that time period, there is no logical reason why one would find the Bible any more or less valid than any other. Social pressure is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from discounting it as easily as I do Odin and Zeus. I guess Neitche had me in mind when he talked about God's current condition.

Here's what I typically say when confronted about my Christian heritage by my mother:

"Mother, you have been blessed with an active understanding of God that he has not shared with me. God has chosen to show himself to you, and to touch your life in ways that I have not received. Until he chooses to show himself to me, I can only make decisions on his nature based on the intelligence and compassion that he has blessed me with.

Were I to choose any two thousand year old book to follow without question, it is very difficult for me to chose the bible as the sole document of divine wisdom. There are plenty of intellectual contradictions between the old and new testaments, as well as the obvious discrepancies between the gospels themselves. On an intellectual level, using the intelligence that God has given me, I cannot accept the bible as the sole word of God. I cannot accept that people unexposed to the new testament are sent to hell. I cannot accept that an omnipotent and all powerful God would change his mind on the covenants he accepts from his people. Therefore, I have to reach for the divine with more than that book... and seek wisdom as best I can.

I do subscribe to the teachings of Jesus, and the philosophy he shared with the world. I believe in his thoughts on how to better mankind, and how to justly and fairly love your neighbors. I feel he was a gifted and thoughtful teacher, and cannot argue with his words as they are presented regarding daily life. I follow him as best I can, based on what the holy spirit has shared with me.

This does not mean that I am closed to the possibility that he will chose to offer me a faith akin to what you have received. I am open to any inspiration God wishes to share. Should he opt to share his divine nature in a more direct and indesputable manner, I am happy to follow his guidance to whatever ends he desires. But until that day, it is obviously his choice that I am following the path that I am on. There is someplace I must go, something I must experience, or something I must do. Till then, I have to work with the tools he has given me as best I can. I have to make decisions with the tools he has given me, walk the path he has chosen for me, and witness with the conviction that I work in his name."

With all this in mind, I've kept a very comfortable detente with church. I leave people alone to worship how they want as long as they don't get their pride built up and start squashing rational argument in the name of God. It's worked pretty well, and when it came time for Wendy and I to choose a minister for our wedding, I felt confident that her choice in my church's priest would be comfortably compliant with what we hold in our hearts about the nature of God. Our first meeting with the priest for marriage counseling solidified our opinion that she was a good choice, and it was good to find out that she was a high school friend of Wendy's mother to boot.

Part of the requirements for her services included Wendy's confirmation into the Episcopal Church. I volunteered to go with her to keep her company, and our first class was this morning. It started off a little hippy-dippy with people discussing the origins of their name, choosing stones from a bag, and justifying their reasons for that complex and challenging choice, but it soon got around to some pretty substantive material about the origins of the church. I had always known that the Episcopal Church was a very welcoming and kindly lot, but I had obviously forgotten my own 1983 confirmation classes and the reasons behind that formalized attitude. In looking at some of the historical church documents, I came to realize why I never full rejected this church... and I'd like to share some with you.


First off, the Episcopal Church is essentially the Church of England with a twist. After breaking with the Catholic Church for purely selfish reasons, it was later reformed to be an inclusive protestant denomination. Instead of splitting hairs to get down the fundamental absolutes, the Church of England chose to create an environment that would include more rather than less followers, and focussed on the basics. This unifying nature is covered in an 1886 Episcopal document called The Chicago-Lambeth Quadrilateral, which I plan on typing out at the end of this post... heh...

Anywhoo, so Americans sought to build their church along these Church of England guidelines. Unfortunately, Bishops in the Church were required to declare a loyalty oath to the king. Americans, and their damn anarchistic ways, weren't able to do that, even if they did manage to make their way across the pond to get three sets of holy hands laid on them for the ordination. The Scottish Bishops decided to stick it to the man and offer to do the ceremony without the loyalty oath, as long as the scottish eucharist was taken to the new world. Thus, the first Episcopalian Bishop, Dr. Samual Seabury was ordained. The Bishops in England changed their tune and ordained the second and third bishops without the oath, and now the Episcopal Church had enough Bishops to ordain some of its own. So, the Episcopal Church is American, made by our founding fathers, and built upon the kind of rebellion that founded this nation.

But what really struck me was this document. Particularly the first four items.... Let's see if it gets you too.

---

We, Bishops of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States of America, in Council assembled as Bishops in the Church of God, do hereby solemnly declare to all whom it may concern, and especially to our fellow-Christians of the different Communions in this land, who, in their several spheres, have contended for the religion of Christ:

1. Our earnest desire that the Savior's prayer, "That we all may be one," may, in its deepest and truest sense, be speedily fulfilled;


2. That we believe that all who have been duly baptized with water, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, are members of the Holy Catholic Church.


3. That in all things of human ordering or human choice, relating to modes of worship and discipline, or to traditional customs, this Church is ready in the spirit of love and humility to forego all preferences of her own;


4. That this Church does not seek to absorb other Communions, but rather, co-operating with them on the basis of a common Faith and Order, to discountenance schism, to heal the wounds of the Body of Christ, and to promote the charity which is the chief of Christian graces and the visibile manifestation of Christ to the world.

But furthermore, we do hereby affirm that the Christian unity...can be restored only by the return of all Christian communions to the principles of unity exemplified by the undivided Catholic Church during the first ages of its existence; which principles we believe to be the substantial deposit of Christian Faith and Order committed by Christ and his Apostles to the Church unto the end of the world, and therefore incapable of compromise or surrender by those who have been ordained to be its stewards and trustees for the common and equal benefit of all men.

As inherent parts of this sacred deposit, and therefore as essential to the restoration of unity among the divided branches of Christendom, we account the following, to wit:

1. The Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments as the revealed Word of God.


2. The Nicene Creed as the sufficient statement of the Christian Faith.


3. The two Sacraments,--Baptism and the Supper of the Lord,--ministered with unfailing use of Christ's words of institution and of the elements ordained by Him.


4. The Historic Episcopate, locally adapted in the methods of its administration to the varying needs of the nations and peoples called of God into the unity of His Church.

Furthermore, Deeply grieved by the sad divisions which affect the Christian Church in oun own land, we hereby declare our desire and readiness, so soon as there shall be any authorized response to this Declaration, to enter into brotherly conference with all or any Christian Bodies seeking the restoration of the organic unity of the Church, with a view to the earnest study of the conditions under which so priceless a blessing might happily be brought to pass.

Note: While the above form of the Quadrilateral was adopted by the House of Bishops, it was not enacted by the House of Deputies, but rather incorporated in a general plan referred for study and action to a newly created Joint Commission on Christian Reunion.

Comments

[jayfo.livejournal.com]

I also grew up in the Episcopal Church. I was at the less trendy St. Stevens, in south Huntsville. I agree with a lot of what you said.

I had a hard time going through the motions after one of our priests, "Mother" Bertie Pittman died in a horrible fiery crash on I-65 on a bridge outside of Cullman.

[weswilson]

Been going to St Stephens all my life... but was off at college for most of the Bertie years... loved her, though. The new priest, Susan Sloan, is really great... and She'll be performing our service.

[jayfo.livejournal.com]

excellent!

Bertie Pittman

[(Anonymous)]

Hi i was sent this because you made mention of "mother" Bertie Pittman. You knew her? She was my aunt. She was killed in that crash when I was only 14 yrs old but I still remember to this day the night I was told. I was too young to be told all of the details of it. Do you have any old new paper clippings from that? If you do i would love to have them. Just Email me at Jasminedeluxe@yahoo.com


Kate

Re: Bertie Pittman

[weswilson]

Bertie was a great lady... and was beside my family during many trying moments. I'll ask my mom if she has anything from those times.

Re: Bertie Pittman

[(Anonymous)]

That would be sooo great if you find anything. I know here in my town the library keeps old papers and things. I realy hope you find something. She was my grandmothers sister on my mom's side. It is nice to see online someone who knew her.

Re: Bertie Pittman

[jayfo.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if I have a clipping on it, but I'll see if anyone I know does.

[trshtwns01.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing that. I have several friends that are in the Episcopal Church, but I never understood the distinction or beliefs from the Catholic churches (other than the obvious - women in lead positions allowed). Two of my friends were married in an Episcopal Church there in Huntsville (don't remember which one right off, but I think I kept their announcement around somewhere), and it was a very nice, inclusive service. When they gave the sacrament, they said you did not need to be of their faith, just have faith itself and want to share in the day with the couple.

[weswilson]

Yep... that's why we were comfortable with it all... And this written doctrine just really made things all that much better.

[seamusmoon.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing that. I'm always interested in the theological backgrounds of my friends.

[mindwalker.livejournal.com]

My parents were (are) also Episcopalians. I always hated being dragged to church. The one thing I liked about it was having coffee after the service. Some of the music was pleasant as well, but I don't care for the actual religious aspects at all.

[weswilson]

Well... I'm still uber skeptic... but I recognise a degree of social responsibility to raise my child with the proper social traditions of my neighbors. Additionally, the church has been very supportive of my family over the years, and I can't deny the good it has done my mother.

[ex-debgirl0.livejournal.com]

well... lookit me... learning stuff on LJ.

[weswilson]

yeah... I Felt the same way at the church!

[pzyok.livejournal.com]

Well, as you may remember my father is a retired Episcopal priest. He was asked to be bishop a few times and never had that calling. I went to Camp McDowell from the time I was old enough through to the last year I could. I have always felt at home in the Episcopal church, although I have gone through a lot of growth with my beliefs over the years and have just started attending, again, on a more regular basis.

Glad to hear that you have chosed a church and priest to perform your ceremonies. I would still love to meet the lucky woman next time I am in H'ville.

*hugs*

[weswilson]

Interesting! Bishop, huh?

How has he felt about all this schism stuff that people keep talking about with reference to that new england bishop?

[pzyok.livejournal.com]

He probably doesn't even really know about it... he is not all mentally there anymore...

[weswilson]

awww... sorry to bring that up, then.

[vscountstrum.livejournal.com]

Very Nice. I am an Episcopal and silly_filly is Lutheran (though that does not matter since they joined each other. We were married my church - where I was baptized, confirmed, and married (leaving only one more to go).

I was a bit surprised by Wendy having to be confirmed in the Episcopal church. I have never heard of that requirement before and I do have a fairly deep knowledge of the Episcopal liturgy for someone that is not ordained.

[weswilson]

I misstated that... she wasn't required to, she chose to do it.

Interesting note. The Lutheren and Episcopalian churches respect the Bishops of the other. Meaning, three Lutheren Bishops could ordain an Episcopalian one.

[vscountstrum.livejournal.com]

Cool...that makes much more since... Glad to have you with us Wendy!!! Are and Wendy going to make it to Chattacon??

Interesting Note reference. We respect each others Bishops, but as if not more importantly we respect all ordained Priest. The biggest advantage of this is for the small towns where a Lutheran Priest can fill in and cover the services for an Episcopal Priest and visa versa. This makes it much easier for them during emergencies or simply vacations.

[in-tu-it.livejournal.com]

I agree that giving your children a childhood of consistency with his or her peers is important, but just like Santa Claus, the truth must be uncovered someday. (Specifically, that religion is mere faith, and anyone proceeding with the assumption of correctness is to be found suspect.) Luckily, one can raise a child to be independent, skeptical, and curious, and the hopes that, just like Santa Claus, dogmatic beliefs will quietly be overcome and weighed rationally. If they have inherited one iota of your own brilliance, Wes, that shouldn't be a problem. :)

[tai-lee.livejournal.com]

Nice entry. Reminded me of my life growing up.

rational religious thought

[(Anonymous)]

"Jesus, in my eyes, is mostly a construct of scared and lost people whose desire for acceptance and love keeps them clinging to a two-thousand year old life raft that's almost out of air."

Blaise Pascal once said that we all have a void of faith to fill. For Christians, God and Christ (and the Holy Spirit) fill this void. But this is all stuff we already know. Back on target... It can be substantially argued that Jesus actually lived. As the world's leading tome of ancient historical reference, there is no reason to doubt his physical existence. As for his spiritual place at the right hand of God, this is eternal (for a believer) and thus the life raft shall ever float. For Christians, the last 2000 years has been marred by oppression from both believers and non-believers. The inquisition was just as destructive in the name of Christianity as the Roman persecution was against it. But after the political show subsides, and the Caesars and Popes of antiquity go to bed, millions of Christians still pray as their eyes fall silent for another night.

It is far from spent. Of course, I deeply respect your personal opinion, as religion is so incredibly personal that to discount one single person's beliefs is to throw out the validity of having a belief system at all. But I do disagree.

And I also have a dissenting opinion from my fellow Christians that puzzles me, one that is not commonly spoken of. If we are so afraid of death, and attempt to avoid it at all costs, why do we glorify and so welcome the eventual demise of our physical existence? It is the attempt at rationalization of an irrational thought. We cannot mentally comprehend not existing. It is insane to attempt such a thought. I know this because I have tried.

On one occasion I was within minutes of dying, and I had the "proverbial" life-flash-before-the-eyes experience. I can honestly tell you that I have never ever even come close to the feeling of peace and quiet stillness as I felt that one particular evening. My body cooled, my pulse eroded to stillness, and my mind became so serene and peaceful. It is no wonder that people describe death as passing into another world, a heavenly world. Although I still fear death (for the simple fact that I selfishly want to squeeze as much from this life as possibly), I am looking forward to that day when my limbs once again begin to cool, and my pulse falls away, as my mind clears to a complete peace, free from all the pains and worries of our everyday.

But why do we have to wrap this up in abstract ideas of faith and religion? Simple, we all yearn to have faith in something good, something inherently filled with love and passion that no matter what we do we will be accepted and loved. We adults in this world still yearn for an altruistic parental love that God provides for us. After all, we are his children, and there are few rules by which we need abide to enter his domain. But they are essential and non-wavering. Is it simply enough to believe in Christ as the Savior of man? Yes.

But what if you only go so far as to believe that Jesus himself believed this? Is it not enough to believe that Jesus had faith, and that his teachings and crucifixion were evidence of his faith in God?

What if you stopped at love for Christ and belief in his own faith, without believing in his Father? I love many people, without loving what they believe.

But this is the difference between love of Christ and faith in the Father. And for me defines the reason that Christ is both essential and superfluous. For his life, I enjoy the teachings and philosophy of Christianity, and am able to meter my life against his for relevant moral guidance. But I look over his shoulder when I dig down into my faith. I am an engineer by education and a scientist by method, a pragmatist of the first degree, but I cannot fathom nothingness and fill this irrational void with my faith in God. He keeps me from pondering irrational consequences of the physical world, and thus God gives me peace, lends me purpose, and is essential to my cognitive, physical, and spiritual existence.

But organized religion, I can do without. There is something inherently wrong with Baptist Bingo.

-Mr. Pragmatic