What Wes Stands For
Sep. 21st, 2006 02:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weswilsonIt's funny how bizarre you feel when you find the demarkations between what you'll accept and what you won't.
Imagine if you will... I'm hanging out with people I work with... The booze is flowing and the silliness is getting dominant...
The polyamorous couple is getting facinated with the gorgeous pair, and lots of flirtation is founding the base. The gorgeous couple is struggling with the desire to be amorous fuck-dolls, but they keep turning to me and thanking ME for being their friend.
Now I'm not one to cockblock a willing set of sexual partners, but I know how to read between the lines when certain people aren't eager to consumate a relationship. I get several, SEVERAL, aside comments to inform me that my home will be the destination of choice... despite the overwhelmingly sexual appeal to the polyamorous friends who wish to open up their home.
Then comes the moment of truth.
And my friends, while quite adept at expressing that they would rather spend the night at my house than anywhere else, end up riding back with others.
Now.... it would be easy to chock this up as an ego thing... but it's not. I heard the language quite clearly, "Wes... we want to spend the night at your place. We will be bad if we sleep elsewhere." It's not that they didn't WANT some lurid sexuality... they just didn't think that it was constructive at the time. And even after clearly expressing this desire, they found themselves peer pressured into something different.
I realized how I felt. Plain and simple: If your desire for sexual interaction overrides someone's desire to ensure they behave in a socially productive manner, then I have nothing else to offer you. Sexuality is more than a set of boots knocking together on a cool autumn night. And I would rather be the escapist retreat for someone with dubious sexual motivation, than a haven for people eager to push the boundries of their relationships.
But I had to let THIS one go.
I'm not going to play daddy for people just because they want me to. These are big boys and girls, and if they aren't willing to accept responsibility for their destination, then I'm not going to waste my energy helping. I don't have enough hours in my day to out-clever people who seek to pursue their own destruction.
But I will be here for people who would take action to prevent it.
I stand by that.
Imagine if you will... I'm hanging out with people I work with... The booze is flowing and the silliness is getting dominant...
The polyamorous couple is getting facinated with the gorgeous pair, and lots of flirtation is founding the base. The gorgeous couple is struggling with the desire to be amorous fuck-dolls, but they keep turning to me and thanking ME for being their friend.
Now I'm not one to cockblock a willing set of sexual partners, but I know how to read between the lines when certain people aren't eager to consumate a relationship. I get several, SEVERAL, aside comments to inform me that my home will be the destination of choice... despite the overwhelmingly sexual appeal to the polyamorous friends who wish to open up their home.
Then comes the moment of truth.
And my friends, while quite adept at expressing that they would rather spend the night at my house than anywhere else, end up riding back with others.
Now.... it would be easy to chock this up as an ego thing... but it's not. I heard the language quite clearly, "Wes... we want to spend the night at your place. We will be bad if we sleep elsewhere." It's not that they didn't WANT some lurid sexuality... they just didn't think that it was constructive at the time. And even after clearly expressing this desire, they found themselves peer pressured into something different.
I realized how I felt. Plain and simple: If your desire for sexual interaction overrides someone's desire to ensure they behave in a socially productive manner, then I have nothing else to offer you. Sexuality is more than a set of boots knocking together on a cool autumn night. And I would rather be the escapist retreat for someone with dubious sexual motivation, than a haven for people eager to push the boundries of their relationships.
But I had to let THIS one go.
I'm not going to play daddy for people just because they want me to. These are big boys and girls, and if they aren't willing to accept responsibility for their destination, then I'm not going to waste my energy helping. I don't have enough hours in my day to out-clever people who seek to pursue their own destruction.
But I will be here for people who would take action to prevent it.
I stand by that.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:35 am (UTC)Love & Hugs,
FahKingNut
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:45 pm (UTC)Understandable... but my house isn't a permanent version of my halloween party or anything... heh.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:48 pm (UTC)Also, being involved in a loyal monogamous marriage with your pregnant wife at home changes the dynamic a tad. Hee Hee.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:15 pm (UTC)