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I feel like a broken man right now. I'm sore, wiped out, and completely overstressed. Getting the club ready for tonight's Halloween event took me under... and I know I should go and support things over there, but I don't want to... even though I probably will.
What really bothers me is that there are things I wanted to accomplish that I have failed at doing. There are props and things I wanted created, effects I wanted perfected, and structure that should look better. I am not normally so critical considering that I can only accomplish so much with a volunteer crew, but this year I really feel that expectations of me are higher than they have ever been. Between the club owners and a few of my friends, I'm beginning to feel like I shouldn't have even tried in the first place. Yes, there was more time I could give. Yes, there was more work I could have done. Yes, it would have been great if things had worked out and everything had gotten accomplished, but I don't want to feel like a bad person because I failed to pull off another miracle in only one month. Hell, if you consider that cleaning took two weeks, we've done all this in three weeks again! And I'm honestly sorry if it's not as perfect as I would have liked.
Again, I aimed to high. I always do it that way. Does it mean that I did a bad job because I missed my shot? Hundreds of people will go through my haunt on Saturday to ooh and ahh. Most of them will be impressed, and some of them will be amazed. If I don't get all the doors up in my cubic maze, it does technically mean that I failed, but it does not mean I did a bad job. It also does not imply that I should have worked myself like even MORE of a slave instead of enjoying one or two nights away from that hole. I'm tired of black boogers, quite frankly. Yes, I could give up a few drinks and insure a little more of the completed project that I see in my head, but it's time to say "fuck it" for a few hours. It's time for me to have a drink and laugh and remember why I do this. I've only gotten to see one halloween event this year, and I've done enough on my haunt. I'm sorry if it's not perfect.
No guilt for me, tonight...
none...
I swear...
What really bothers me is that there are things I wanted to accomplish that I have failed at doing. There are props and things I wanted created, effects I wanted perfected, and structure that should look better. I am not normally so critical considering that I can only accomplish so much with a volunteer crew, but this year I really feel that expectations of me are higher than they have ever been. Between the club owners and a few of my friends, I'm beginning to feel like I shouldn't have even tried in the first place. Yes, there was more time I could give. Yes, there was more work I could have done. Yes, it would have been great if things had worked out and everything had gotten accomplished, but I don't want to feel like a bad person because I failed to pull off another miracle in only one month. Hell, if you consider that cleaning took two weeks, we've done all this in three weeks again! And I'm honestly sorry if it's not as perfect as I would have liked.
Again, I aimed to high. I always do it that way. Does it mean that I did a bad job because I missed my shot? Hundreds of people will go through my haunt on Saturday to ooh and ahh. Most of them will be impressed, and some of them will be amazed. If I don't get all the doors up in my cubic maze, it does technically mean that I failed, but it does not mean I did a bad job. It also does not imply that I should have worked myself like even MORE of a slave instead of enjoying one or two nights away from that hole. I'm tired of black boogers, quite frankly. Yes, I could give up a few drinks and insure a little more of the completed project that I see in my head, but it's time to say "fuck it" for a few hours. It's time for me to have a drink and laugh and remember why I do this. I've only gotten to see one halloween event this year, and I've done enough on my haunt. I'm sorry if it's not perfect.
No guilt for me, tonight...
none...
I swear...
